The Sensuality Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs interpret good sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, making love carries enormous significance and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are brought in to incredibly difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing effective feelings of attraction, excitement, love, well-being, and nearness .

But when issues develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They most likely would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that numerous of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in city areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really his response going to be good?".

North includes, "I think this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to see here mention that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a given that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and find out this here truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, worths, and objectives -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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