The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries enormous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be great as well).

B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to very hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin why not look here (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , causing effective sensations of tourist attraction, enjoyment, wellness, nearness, and love .

However when problems develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is excellent!" They most likely wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that a lot of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cities, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. If a prospective partner is going to be sexually compatible, numerous gay guys desire to find out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is crucial. Chemistry is a provided that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with common sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, objectives, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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