The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex carries enormous meaning and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and home testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are drawn in to very hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , leading to effective feelings of attraction, enjoyment, wellness, love, and nearness .

When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They probably would not confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that a number of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in city areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

However, North adds, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, objectives, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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