The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries enormous meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), makings the opportunity to make love with someone we are attracted to extremely tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful feelings of destination, excitement, nearness, love, and well-being .

When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that much of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in urbane locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I think this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a provided that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To Website avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with common sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, objectives, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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